


Bittersweet

by metal_eye



Series: Songfics [2]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Ambiguity, Boys Kissing, Experimentation, M/M, Schmoop, Straight!Kris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-08
Updated: 2010-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-24 13:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2583059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metal_eye/pseuds/metal_eye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What's it like?" turns into a demonstration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look, it's the first Kradam fic I ever wrote. Circa 2009. Awww. How naive and cute.
> 
> I stand by most of the words, though.
> 
> Title from the track in VELVET GOLDMINE, which is Adam's favorite movie ever, and also my own.

_Sometimes I'm quite amused_  
_To see it twist and turn_  
_To taste both sweet and dry_

                -The Venus in Furs, ‘Bitter-Sweet’

 

“You probably think I’m crazy.”

There was laugher. “Kris, seriously, do you KNOW who you’re talking to?”

“Right.” A pause. “So.”

Adam gave him a grin behind a lock of black slicked hair. “Well, it’s just like kissing a girl, except with more stubble.”

Kris laughed. “Rug burns?”

“Dude, it’s worse than rubbing your face in the carpet sometimes.”

Kris stared duly at the hotel room rug.

“Don’t tell me you’re about to try that.”

“… I might.”

“Okay, you win. I think you’re crazy. Still cute, though.”

Kris smiled. “I thought we went over this.”

”Right, right, NOT gay, completely and totally heterosexual, blah blah blah. I remember.”

“It’s just curiosity!”

Just idle… no, _burning_ curiosity.

Kris suddenly had one of those moments when he felt so open-minded he thought his brains were going to fall out.

A tilt, a half grin, a shake of the head, and then Adam showed something that could be construed as eagerness. He skipped across the hotel bed-gap.

Kris said nothing. The hotel clock was painfully digital; there wasn’t even a ticking-second-time-bomb to justify the suspense he suddenly felt.

“Hold still,” Adam said.

Kris did.

Breath rushed between them. Kris felt heat on his face—he felt oxygen, tasted a dry tongue. And well, he liked Adam, after all, liked him a lot, but it wasn’t… he didn’t…

Adam’s lips cut him off. Colors bled.

Adam pulled back, and then he mumbled, “You can pretend I’m a girl if you want,” but there wasn’t a pause as he closed to Kris’s lips again, softly.

A burn crossed Kris’s lower middle. Despite the awkwardness, despite denial. It was like being a kid again and trying to suppress laughter at something juvenile and stupid, but the giggle always came from his gut, defying societal expectation and disappointing his parents.

Adam giggled into his mouth, then, and the sudden irreverence made Kris forget everything he thought he had established. The giggle echoed down his throat and freed him, let his buried, irreverent lackey loose.

And there was sucking at tongues, at once. Heat. Kris felt desperation in the exploration, couldn’t even grasp logic. There was a hand in his hair, and who cared about anything else? They were both breathing hard.

Then—“I DID mention stubble, didn’t I?” Adam’s chin was away again, but only by inches.

“Sorry,” Kris said.

“Don’t be sorry.”

Kris let Adam lead him. Let him lead back to basics. It was almost like a first time all over again, but with a little bit more licking.

“Tell me when to stop,” Adam said.

Eyebrows, forehead, nose, lips, chin—it all felt different, a different nuance each time, like being led down a banqueted buffet table. Bittersweet. “Don’t stop,” Kris found himself saying, against his better judgement.

So Adam didn’t. Not until they had explored the crevices of each others’ clothes, not until their limbs were tangled into one another’s hair, in protection, in a kind of pact against the rest of the world—one that said, this is what it is, and screw everything I thought I knew before, or wanted to think.

“Ungh,” came Adam’s mumble. “I’m sorry.”

Kris wanted to say _, if I could get any closer to you, if I could grow more skin somehow so that it could stretch further over yours, then I would._

But he didn’t.

“I’m not,” he said, instead.

He felt a crinkle against his cheek, which he knew was Adam smiling.

There was still no clock noise, so Kris couldn’t feel the seconds, nor the sweat that had somehow formed in the crook of his neck despite himself.

There were no implications, as yet. Just temporary comfort.

They woke up spooned.


End file.
